MaD love: Cannon

Cooper had his lip repair surgery on the 17th of May.

The time leading UP to his surgery was almost more nerve-racking than anything. It was all I could think about the week before. Part of me didn't want his face to change. I have now spent 5 months with this little man that looks one way and now his entire look is going to change. Selfish I know. I of course also didn't want to see him in pain. The fact that a little baby can't communicate is hard. And it was...

We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am to be admitted. His surgery started at 7:30am. He wasn't allowed to have any formula past 1:00am so I woke him at 12:30am and fed him. He wasn't allowed to have anything past 4:00am so I woke up at 3:30am and fed him pedialyte. My best friend's younger sister Kimberly watched Cannon for us so we dropped him off with her at 5:00am. I even felt sad leaving him. I knew it was going to be a while before I saw Cannon again and that was hard. But I knew he was in amazing hands and am forever grateful for Kimberly and all she's done.

Right away when Cooper was admitted he was getting fussy...He was getting hungry. Keeping him calm was a challenge and I'm sure he felt my tension. But I was able to get him back to sleep. At 7:15 they came and took him back. We were only allowed to walk him down the hall and kiss him goodbye. We (me and Mark) kissed his sleeping face and thought I was going to lose it but I didn't. We walked back down the hall hand in hand in silence. Mark squeezed me and I quickly remembered I was not alone. I thought that was gonna be the hardest part. Boy was I wrong...

In the waiting room we sat. We were told by the surgeon he would be done by 10:30-11:00am and that he would come out to get us right away. Mark's parents came to sit with us along with his sister and brother in law and grandma. My older sister also came. The support and love was amazing. But my nerves kept me looking at the clock. 10:30am rolled around and Mark and I are saying anytime now. 10:45...11:00am. Not cool. I look at Mark and I see his nervous energy has his leg going one hundred miles a minute. (Not very often do I see that.) At 11:15ish the Doctor came out. Mark away asks how it went and he says great. He let's us know that he was in fact tongue tied and it was pretty severe. He also told us his nose took a little longer than he thought to straighten out. I wasn't listening too hard cause I just wanted to see Cooper. He took us back to the recovery area and there was Cooper laying on his back, knocked out and all red and blotchy. Here is Cooper right after his surgery: (taken from my phone)

Mark and I were amazed with how good he looked. Right away I thought he looked even more like Cannon. One by one we brought family back to see him and once it was just me and Mark again Cooper decided to wake up. He woke up LIVID. The doctor told us he would but this was terrible. I tried so hard to hold him to calm him down but I couldn't let his face touch anything and he was not feeling well AT ALL. (can you blame him?) As his mom I felt helpless. I was shushing him, bouncing him, just trying to hold him but nothing would work. It didn't help that we didn't have our own room yet and recovery was this big area that was divided by curtains and there were a ton of patients recovering from their surgeries as well. Part of me felt bad for them but I bigger part if me felt horrible for my son. I felt like I did this to him, I put him through this. As silly as it sounds and I know he would eventually choose this surgery for himself I still feel bad making this decision for such a small helpless child and then not being able to comfort him, ugh I felt like a failure.

About an hour into recovery they transferred us to the pediatric floor and told us Cooper would be staying the night. I was bummed. I knew then I wouldn't be seeing Cannon anytime soon and that they also felt Cooper NEEDED to be there. They gave him some more morphine and we got him calmed down in a bouncy seat in a hospital crib. After a few hours we switched to tylenol with codine and that pretty much sedated Cooper for four hours at a time. Each time we had to wake him to administer meds I changed him and tried to syringe feed him some pedialyte. I sent Mark home that evening to stay with Cannon cause there was no where for him to sleep in the hospital anyways.

We had visitors during the day...

Mommy and Daddy and Coop in the background.

The next morning the doctor stopped back by and was very surprised to see Cooper had not bruised at all. He gave us the go-ahead to try to bottle feed while not allowing Cooper to use his lips too much. So we went back to the haberman feeder where we can squeeze the formula into his mouth for him. He also said we could leave whenever we felt comfortable. Right away I knew I wanted to get going. I wanted to get Cooper in his environment and wanted to see my Cannon ball. :) The doc prescribed Cooper tylenol with codine to take home.

We got home by noon on Wednesday and my mom was watching Cannon for us and of course had cleaned our apartment and done our laundry (SCORE)! I'm glad we brought him home, he seemed so much more comfortable in his own element.

It's now day 10 and Cooper is still somewhat demanding and cranky. If he's awake, he wants to be held, BUT he has to be moving while he's held. That would be fine but he's a twin and has a brother that has needs too. All week after the surgery family took days off to come and help. They are a Godsend. Amazing people...we have an amazing family.

Cannon!!!!!!

This is so hard to start so I'll just jump right in...

The 4 month doctor appointment is this Friday so I'm estimating...

Cannon: About 13 1/2 pounds. He's sleeping anywhere from 5-7 hour stretches at night. He's goofy and silly already. He loves sticking his tongue out and talking very loud. He is so fun to hang out with and is a pretty independent baby so far. I'm afraid he may have a mild case of reflux cause he isn't eating as well as he has and tends to fuss during feeds. He eats anywhere from 24-28 ounces a day.

Cooper: About 10 1/2 pounds. He's sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hour stretches at night. He's becoming a happier baby now that we've switched formulas and his poo issues are almost gone. Him and Mark like to growl back and forth at each other. He is definitely my cuddle bug and loves sleeping on anyone's chest and hates sleeping alone. He is eating anywhere from 18-24 ounces a day.

The boys have somewhat noticed each other. Where they may not know what's going on, they know something else is there. They will stare at each other and check each other out, it's pretty fun to watch. Makes me think of all the things they will plot against mom and dad in the future. They have also just recently decided that naps are overrated and they'd rather stay up and be cranky. They used to fall asleep on their own and now I am needed to rock, bounce or do SOMETHING to get them to fall asleep and then heaven forbid I try to set them down cause they'll be up as soon as I do. I'm being told this is their 4 month wakeful period where they begin to be more aware of their surroundings. Makes sense but it still sucks, BAD.

I just recently went back to work part time so we hired a nanny. She's very sweet and so far she's doing well. Cooper had an ear infection her first day with them so you can imagine what kind of day she had. So for her not to go running for the hills was nice cause believe me, it's hard work. So here I go again, into another adjustment period. I was just getting used to staying home and it was time for me to go back. Of course I know my role will always be mom, now it's like, where and what's my routine? Where did it go?

I've been struggling with all the baby care and all the crying and the unpredictable things babies bring to the world so I've reached out to family and they've responded perfectly. I don't know where I'd be without them. Life is definitely a little rough at times with two babies but at of the end, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my life. I love my family...