The flu has been going around my family and yesterday it was Mark's turn. I spent all day taking care of two needy babies. They're in a very NEEDY phase right now. According to the book I reference The Wonder Weeks they are learning depth perception. Basically if I'm more than three feet away from them, they're not happy campers. The day took every single last ounce of patience that I had.
Yesterday made me think about single moms. How in the F do they do it? Mothers with significant others barely get breaks, but if I need 30 minutes to myself all I have to do is ask Mark and he says sure. (which I asked for just to write this post.) Single moms don't have that option; don't have a partner to say, "your turn." Part of me wants to feel bad and sorry for them cause they don't have what I have but a bigger part of me wants to acknowledge what awesome and strong people they are. There is no way I could do this by myself for 24 hours a day.
While playing with the boys on the floor or trying to get them to go down for naps I thought about the Saturdays and Sundays I used to spend watching movies ALL day. Taking a day to myself and doing NOTHING. I daydreamed about doing that yesterday. I even tried to watch a movie while watching the boys. It must have taken me 4 hours to get through a 2 hour movie. It just wasn't the same. Even now as I sit here taking my 30 minutes I'm feeling guilty that Mark is taking care of the boys so I'm not really even 'relaxing'. I guess this is me getting some things off my chest.
Everyone told me life would change and I knew it would but this is an experience everyone has to go through and experience for themselves. My sister told me about this day. That was yesterday. The day it really hits you. That you are a mother the rest of your life.
I am so grateful that I do not have to go through this alone. I have a great partner in life and have an AMAZING support group. Where I do not feel all single mothers go through motherhood "alone", I must give you mad props for all your hard work. I hope you get your "30 minutes" every once and a while.
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