3 Weeks Old

Time is flying and everything is a blur.  I'm trying to soak in every moment but the broken sleep and late night arguments with Mark and constant baby care weighs heavy on the brain.  What time is it? Who ate how much last and when? Did Cannon poo last diaper? When did I pump last? Did both boys get their vitamins? When's the next doctor's appointment?

With all the needed day-to-day stuff taking place I still think to myself, "I can't believe I (and Mark of course) made these boys.  How did I get soooo lucky to be blessed with these little people?"

None of this is easy.  Nothing is the same as what it was before babies. Me and Mark, social life, work, plans I may have had.  But it's still all good.  No scratch that, it's all great.  I know the physical part of this will pass and when I hit my mini breaking points I remind myself that this is a blessing and there's a reason I was given these kids.  The boys spent 8 days in the NICU and I do feel that those 8 days were the most difficult days emotionally for me that I have ever experienced in my 26 years.

Wow, I just realized this post is extremely random and all over the place but I guess that's appropriate seeing that I, myself am all over the place these days.  I love life, I love my family....yes even Mark (except for the hours of 12am-3am). Life is here, it knocked on our door, we answered with smiles, fears, nerves, and joy.  I can't possibly ask for anything else.  Wait, yes I can, for mine and Mark's wedding to plan itself.... that's a whole different post... :)

Dude! Scoot over, you're cramping my style.